No one can see the mistakes I’ve made
They’ve been hidden so well, even I forgot where
Impossible, it is, to fight back the tears
The little somethings here and there, not found everywhere
I don’t know how it got this bad or why I feel alone
Fighting all night for what I want
It’s what I do—win in the end
But it tires me and kills me slowly
I am too tired to claim my prize
My friends are the best I could imagine
End talk with endless play
To look back now, I wonder long:
Where did they all go?
How is it that we got so close, but lost it in the end?
A friend that I’ve held beyond a year?
There’s no such thing—not one
I hold so many friends so close
Why must I fear they’ll end at once?
Then there’s those I see in another light
What a bloody game it has been
The longer we last, the less we work
It makes no sense at all
That when it seems that love’s been played
I’ll hate her in the end
Reason enough to stay away
It hurts to think of what I have
While knowing what might happen
I live my life to understand
To understand all I can
The one thing I’ve learned in this quest of mine
Is that one thing hurts the most:
The more you seek to understand
The more they’ll think you’re there to hard—
Set to kill you in the end
I’ve gained my knowledge beyond my years
It’s left me with no one by my side.
Written 27 June 2007